Snoozles
by EvilFuzzy9
Summary: A series of Sokka drabbles. Innuendo and poorly written jokes, ahoy! Not for people who expect realistic situations. 100 percent crack. Contains a questionable amount of references to sex. Rating upped to M for safety.
1. Grandchildren

I have decided to make up for the pitiful lack of Sokka-centric stories out there, by writing drabbles! (Note: These drabbles won't just be Sokka. However, they will be mostly Sokka)

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Drabble one: Grandchildren

"And don't come back until you bring me some grandkids!"

Sokka and Toph landed on the ground outside of Tophs house. Apparently her mother was going through one of those 'phases'.

Sokka looked at the blind girl – no, _woman_. For that was what she was. After the war had ended, Aang and the gang had resumed traveling around the world, and all of them had matured.

Sokka had finally become the man he wanted to be. He had powerful, well-defined muscles, and had gained mastery of weapons and strategy that most people could only dream of.

And Toph had aged so fantastically that almost every guy she met fainted in spasms of pleasure at the sight of her. Sokka was convinced it was some kind of earth bending technique,  
after all, he was around her all the time, and he never fainted like that!

"Well, I want to eat, and we don't have any money, and your parents are probably setting out a banquet for Aang and Katara. So…" Sokka said nervously.

"Well? What is your plan?" Toph demanded.

"She wants grandkids, so we'll just have to make some."

Toph stared blankly as her brain processed what Sokka said. When she figured it out, she jumped on top of him, and started tearing his clothes off.

"Finally! You have an idea that sounds good!" Toph declared as she reached out towards Sokka's…

* * *

Sorry, but I don't want to simply make this a lemon.

Vive le Sokka!


	2. Cabbages

Drabble two: Cabbages

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Sokka had a secret. It was a secret so dark and secretive, that if anyone, even Aang or Katara learned about it, the balance of the world would be irreversibly damaged.

Cabbages turned Sokka on.

He wasn't sure how it started. All he knew was, when Azula crashed into to the Cabbage Merchant's cart, he felt a heated throbbing, and then nothing as stars and darkness claimed his world.

Who knew being falling unconscious felt that _GOOD_?

* * *

Yes. What you think happened to Sokka, really happened to Sokka. Of course, cabbages are an aphrodisiac.

Wait. What? … You mean they aren't?

Damn.


	3. Tradition

Tradition

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"And then, Sokka, you will have to maneuver yourself so you are touching the entrance. Katara, will need to guide him in." Said Hakoda.

Katara looked curious, Aang looked jealous, Toph was furious, and Sokka was trying to tune his father out.

" That is sick!" Toph accused. "How could you force your kids to… to… do THAT to each other?"

Sokka stared at Toph. "What are you talking about? This is an ancient Water Tribe custom. Me and Katara were destined to do this."

"Since when do you believe in destiny?" Aang interjected.

"Since it was this sexy!" Katara retorted.

Aang and Sokka stared at Katara.

"… Will you two shut up if I let you play with my boobs?"

"YES!" Shouted Aang, Sokka, and Toph.

"Okay. Just let me slip my top off."

* * *

And slip it off, she did.

I am definitely going to get flamed for this chapter. … Ah well, such is the way of passion.

Vive le Sokka!


	4. Hero

All right! I already have a positive review! (Starts to cry tears of joy) Thank you Nafien! Even though you are not a member of FF dot net, your review was still very much appreciated. In gratitude, I will give you another chapter!

I got the basic concept for this, days ago while playing _The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past_. Enjoy!

Hero

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Sokka couldn't believe it. Here was this hot blonde chick, telling him that he was reincarnation of some ancient hero, and that he was destined to defeat the Fire Lord.

"Who do you think you are? Huh?" Toph demanded.

Toph was in charge of giving their 'prisoner' the third degree. Something she was clearly enjoying.

"Oh my! I can't believe I forgot to introduce myself! How terribly rude of me! I am princess Zelda, ancestor of the seven sages, and future ruler of Hyrule." Zelda stuck out her well-developed chest and started toying with the fabric covering her greatest assets.

Aang's eyes widened in recognition. "I've heard of that place! … But, it was destroyed nearly a thousand years ago…" He closed his eyes in confusion.

"Oh, young maiden" Zelda said huskily to Toph, "I fear that my lineage will die out if I don't find a suitable suitor, and your friend, as the reincarnation of the legendary hero Link, is the best chance I have."

Sokka looked at Zelda, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He was clearly reevaluating the self-proclaimed princess.

Sokka walked right up to Zelda, and grabbed her chest through the fine cloth her dress was made out of.

"Your offer has intrigued me. What do I have to do in order to repopulate your family? Surely there is a catch." He asked, twisting the hand holding her breast in satisfaction at the moaning and panting he was causing.

"You must – Ohhh… _moan _– complete the challenges and – _pant_ – defeat Ganon." Zelda said, before shuddering in ecstasy.

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"Damn it! Gaah!" Sokka yelled as he rolled out of the way of a volley of flaming arrows.

Toph kicked the ground and made a slab of earth shoot forth from the ground, blocking the second volley, and then punched, making the stone wall she conjured, fly into the group of archers that was menacing them.

"Thanks Toph!" Sokka said.

"Don't mention it Yard-stick." She replied.

"Watch out! It's Ganon!" Aang yelled, before swinging his staff and creating a gust of wind to knock the porcine villain down. "Finish him Sokka!"

"Got it Aang!" Sokka yelled, and he leaped onto Ganon's chest.

He bit his lip in anticpation as he raised his sword above his head, before slamming the supernaturally crafted blade into the antagonist's heart.

"What!"

"I'm sorry Sokka, but I'm afraid we can never be. It is destiny." Zelda sobbed and sexually stimulated herself as Sokka glared a hole through her too-perfect boobs.

"You. Manipulative. Little. WHORE!" Toph roared. "You are going to let him screw you senseless, or so help me, I'll earthbend your tight little ass all the way back to your fairy kingdom!"

Zelda looked at Toph, clearly terrified. "Fine." Zelda relented, "Sokka, come here, I will bear your children, destiny or not." She said bravely.

"Hell yeah! Come to papa, baby!

* * *

Well, it looks like truly, nothing in this world is safe from the all-consuming perversion.

Oh well. If you can't beat 'em, make some random girl screw Sokka.

Vive le Sokka!


	5. Boomerang

Okay, time for another installment. (Cracks knuckles)

I hope you enjoy!

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Boomerang

The gang was fighting Azula and friends.

They were getting their butts kicked.

"Sokka! Give me your boomerang!" Aang said desperately, as he just barely dodged a volley of fireballs.

Everything stopped as Sokka turned towards Aang.

"What did you say?" Sokka asked as he glared intensely at the young Avatar.

Aang said his next words carefully. "Uhh… I told you to… give me your boomerang?"

Aang squeaked in fear as Sokka blew up in his face.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? I DON'T GIVE MY BOOMERANG TO **_ANYONE!!!!_**"

Toph tried to reason with Sokka. But by the time he had calmed down, Azula, Mai, Ty Lee, and Zuko were long gone.

The moral of this story is: Never touch Sokka's Boomerang.

* * *

Wow, this is my first Snoozles chapter to not be perverted…

… It's a sign of the Apocalypse! Run for your lives!


	6. Silicone

Silicone 

A few days after the supposed overthrow of Ba Sing Se, a certain big-breasted female had a bone to pick with "Lee".

"What do you mean 'It's for the best'? Are you saying that you don't like me? Are you saying that you're too good for me?" Jin poked Zuko's chest threateningly.

Zuko was at a loss for words. He had already told her that they should go their separate ways. Could some girl really be that hung up on him? ((1))

He paused. Come to think of it, weren't the Dai Li his official security detail? How the hell did this crazy chick get past them?

Zuko's question was answered when Jin struck a stance, and brought her arms down, causing the ground underneath him to swallow the lower half of his body.

"You're an earth bender!" He accused. His voice contained more than a hint of fear. A pissed off female with no special abilities is terrifying enough. But a pissed off female who happened to be a master bender? A nightmare!

"Well of course. How else could I possibly be this gifted?" Jin remarked.

Zuko honestly had no clue as to how he should respond to such a thing. So he decided to cover his ass as thoroughly as possible.

"I – I never noticed!" He said. It was a sickeningly blatant lie. As if any hot-blooded male could help but notice those puppies…

"You don't know what I mean." She observed. "It's quite simple really, I just take some sand," She retrieved some sand from a flask for demonstration. "And I just use my earth bending to infuse the sand with my chest." She did just that, and her breasts doubled in size.

Zuko's eyes looked like they could pop at any second.

"Uh… If I apologized could we get back together?" He asked.

"Sorry Lee, I've found a man who appreciates me." She moaned in desire. "And he's endowed on the same level as I am right now… It's absolutely _scrumptious_." She said with the air of a predator.

"Hey Jin, are you just about done in their? Sokka is getting horny again." Toph yelled.

"Oh boy! Sorry Lee, but my beloved needs me!" Jin waved farewell and disappeared.

"… Uh hello… prince of the Fire Nation stuck in the ground here… Anybody?" Zuko groaned. Beaten by a hussy… How disgraceful.

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((1)): He has no idea...

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Well, I'm back with another drabble. I've decided to accept one-worded prompts from my readers. So just leave a word in your review for me to base a chapter on.

**TTFN!**


	7. Sarcasm

Hello and welcome to the Sokka orgy, hosted by EvilFuzzy9. As you may know, I have decided to start accepting one word prompts to base these drabbles on.

Well, I would like to thank one of the most loyal fans of this story, Nafien, for providing me with the prompt for this chapter.

I have also decided to thank my reviewers each chapter. So, thank you: **Nafien**!

Sorry to the other person who reviewed, but it's hard to thank you when you aren't signed in.

Now on with the show!

**

* * *

Sarcasm**

Sokka and Ty Lee were in the forest. They had gotten separated from the others while fighting.

And Ty Lee was using this as an excuse to get into Sokka's pants.

"Please! I need to f you!" Ty Lee cried in desperation.

Sokka looked at her like she was nuts.

"Oh sure, I'll just sneak around and have gratuitous sex with the enemy behind my friends' back!" Sokka said sarcastically.

And before you could say 'pickle', Ty Lee was naked, on top of Sokka, and bouncing in joy.

"… You do realize I was being sarcastic, right?" Sokka inquired, eyeing her in disbelief.

"Oh. Okay then!" Ty Lee chirped. She then grabbed one of Sokka's legs and dragged him into the clearing.

Right where the others were.

Ty Lee walked up to Katara in all her unclothed glory, and told her:

"Just so you know, I plan on fing your brother long and hard."

Katara stood there in shock, and slowly nodded.

Ty Lee proceeded to shred Sokka's clothes in a hormone-induced frenzy. She then proceeded to impale herself on Sokka and roughly bounce around on his pe-

* * *

And cut! That's a wrap people! Go home and enjoy the rest of the day.

And to all the reviewers: Don't be shy about leaving me a one-word prompt.

Vive le Sokka!


	8. Spirits

It's time for another chapter of snoozles! This one is made special for Valentines day.

And Thanks to my reviewers: **GYY**, and** Nafien**.

This chapter is set immediately after the season two finale.

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Spirit

Aang looked around. It had been a while since he was last in the spirit world.

"Greetings, Avatar." A mysterious figure clothed in celestial light said.

"Hi Yue…" Aang jumped back in surprise. "What? But you're dead!"

"Yes, I am, and this is the spirit world…" She trailed off. "Anyways, Aang, you are having a near-death experience. You will wake up, and when you do, please give our love, Sokka, this message…"

"Wait! Our love? Sorry Yue, I don't like Sokka that way." Aang told her, looking disturbed.

"No silly, she means us!" Said a young woman clothed in green lingerie.

"Suki? You're dead?" Aang inquired.

"Yes, I was killed trying to protect Appa." Suki said dramatically.

"That's awful!"

"Yes, but listen, when you wake up, tell Sokka that Suki and I hope that he woos as many girls as possible." Yue stated forcefully.

"Huh? But, wouldn't you want Sokka to save himself for you two…?" Aang said, confused.

"No silly, we want an army of girls to lust Sokka enough to agree to an eternal spirit-orgy." Suki said matter-of-factly.

At that comment, Aang's desire to get out of there was so strong that he was immediately revived.

Looking into Katara's eyes, Aang could only hope that Sokka could handle the news of Suki's death well enough to hear him out…

* * *

Well, I'm sorry that this chapter didn't actually have Sokka in it. But on the bright side, I've finally updated this story!

Don't forget to give some one-word prompts!

Vive le Sokka!


	9. Friendship

Thank you **Nafien **and** Yami Marik** for reviewing! … Yami Marik gave me a challenge… A challenge that I shall meet head on! Yosh!

**

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Friendship**

"Sokka, we've been traveling together for awhile…"

"Toph? What are you saying?" Sokka asked. Toph was invading his personal space.

"Sokka… We're friends, right?" Toph looked up at Sokka. The expression on her face was like a scared puppy.

"Yes, Toph. We're friends." Sokka told her in a comforting manner.

Toph pulled herself tighter into Sokka's arms, as if afraid that he may disappear at any moment.

"… Friends with privileges?" Toph inquired innocently.

"Well… We know the Avatar… So, yeah I guess we do have certain privileges…" Sokka said uncertainly.

Toph looked like Christmas had come early.

"OW!" Sokka exclaimed, "Who pinched my ass?"

Toph stared at him.

"What? You said that we are friends with privileges. So I have the privilege to molest you," She drawled.

Sokka shook his head and prayed to the spirits that it worked both ways…

* * *

Hehehe… Sokka wants to molest Toph… Hehehe!

… Man, Yami Marik, your challenge was inspirational! I hope that people continue to give me challenges.

Sorry, but I am a Tokka fan, and I couldn't resist a bit of cuteness!

Vive Le Sokka!


	10. Chakra

.I have an idea for another drabble. I got this prompt from **frozenheat**.

I hope you guys like it.

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**

**Chakra**

Aang had a dilemma on his hands. Not only had he gotten his ass handed to him by Azula, but he also failed to open his final chakra, _yet again_.

He figured that he needed help, in order to be able to let go of his earthly attachments. _Katara, in particular._

So he decided to go to Sokka, since he was able to let go of Yue.

"Sokka! Do you think you could help me with something?"

Aang explained his problem to the young warrior. Sokka looked thoughtful for a moment, before he snapped his fingers, an inspired look on his face.

"I know just how to help you, Aang!"

Ten minutes later, Sokka and Toph were standing on either side of Aang. Sokka holding his club in one hand, and his boomerang in the other. And Toph in an earthbending stance.

Aang looked confused, "Look, I know you're trying to help me, but... What are you doing?"

"It's simple Aang," Sokka said patiently, "Whenever you think of Katara, me or Toph will hurt you."

"Badly," Toph said with a sadistic grin on her face...

(Scene fade to black as the sound of a struggle is heard)

"Ow!"

* * *

Well... It isn't perverted... But it is still funny. I hope you guys like it!

Vive le Sokka!


	11. Avatar

... Sorry for taking so long to update... I've been swamped lately. But still... I can't believe that it's already been ten months since I last updated. Eyes shine with resolve But I won't let you down again! (Fairy Kyuubi: Yeah, right.) I will resurrect this story, and the very foundations of the Avatar fandom will quake under the sheer power of Snoozles!

Now, to get my groove back!

**

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Avatar**

(Credit for this prompt goes to Nafien, the guy who made me believe that these drabbles were worth writing.)

* * *

I hate the supernatural. It isn't anything personal, really. It's just the fact that ghosts keep bugging me.

Yes, that's right. Ghosts.

Well, okay, so the first one wasn't an actual ghost, just a really slutty princess.

But after that, things really started getting freaky. Some ghost with pink hair and large breasts appeared and started acting really ditzy, and she kept calling me Ninomiya 'coon. Naturally I told her to take a hike, since you can't exactly make out with ghosts.

I should have known that something was off right away. But I simply convinced myself that Aang was somehow attracting confused spirits and left it at that.

At least, until the ghost of an orange wearing blond guy appeared. He claimed that I was the reincarnation of his best friend. And he kept saying 'teh bayou', or something like that.

But that was just the tip of the iceberg. After that, two impossibly beautiful ghosts with pointy ears and the light of the heavens shining from their eyes said that I was the reincarnation of some guy called Ellessar who was the reincarnation of some guy called Beren. Yeah, I was pretty confused by now.

There were many, many more ghosts (most of them hot babes) and many, many more claims of me being the reincarnation of guys I've never heard of. But the one that really took the cake was a hallucination of a mountain of a man in armor darker than the night sky and with a presence infinitely more terrible that an army of rabid, rampaging Zuko fangirls. Yes, he was THAT horrible. Anyways, he said that I was the reincarnation of some man he'd cursed eons ago. Of course, I asked him who that man was. And so he started listing the guys names. Yeah, apparently this fellow was really good at cursing people, because apparently this guy that he cursed had to wander from place to place changing his name constantly.

I only remember a few of the names that he gave me. But let me tell you something, there is no way that I am the reincarnation of a guy who would willingly call himself something like _Mormegil _or _Turumbar_. No way in hell.

You wanna know what else? The hallucination occurred the night before the Day of Black Sun.

Yeah.

I **REALLY** hate the supernatural.

* * *

There's a guest appearance in the next chapter for whoever guesses all the series the ghosts and characters are from.

And for those who are confused, an 'avatar' is defined as '_in Hinduism,_ _one who has been reincarnated multiple times and is nearly enlightened._'

I just hope I can get back into the swing of the special kind of perversion that made this story possible in the first place.

TTFN!

Vive le Sokka!


	12. Note: A Winner is pureangel86!

Hmmm... Well, I'm not surprised that nobody got all of the references, since some of them were pretty obscure. And I've even waited ten days for someone to guess, so I suppose I might as well give the answers.

The first character that he refers to is actually Princess Zelda, who actually appeared in this series in the fourth chapter, 'Hero'.

The second character is the main female character from the ecchi anime _'Goshushosama Ninomiya-kun'_, and she is a large breasted, androphobic succubus. I cannot recall her name, however.

The third character that appeared to him is Naruto Uzumaki from the series _'Naruto'_. 'Teh bayou' refers to his accent, as in adding the suffix '-tebayo' to his sentences.

The third and fourth characters that haunted him are Luthien Tinuviel and Arwen the Evenstar. If you recognize the latter, you can probably figure out what series they are from.

And lastly was Melkor (He who arises in might), better known as Morgoth (Dark enemy of the world) from the book _'The Silmarillon'_.

Thus, the characters he is (supposedly) reincarnated from are:

1. Link (From _'The Legend of Zelda'_)

2. Ninomiya (From _'Goshushosama Ninomiya-kun'_)

3. Sasuke Uchiha (From _'Naruto'_)

4. Aragorn son of Arathorn, Elessar (Elf stone), Wingfoot, Strider, Longshanks, etc. (From _'The Lord of the Rings'_)

5. Beren (From _'The Silmarillon'_)

6. Turin son of Hurin, Turumbar, Neithan, Agarwen, Mormegil, Gorthol, etc. (From _'The Silmarillon'_)

Well, pureangel86, you were the closest with your guess, so you get to decide what you want me to do with the next chapter. Send me a PM with the specifics about what you want in the next chapter. You can even write the next chapter yourself, if you really want to. The only requirement is that it be Sokka-centric. Of course, if you write the chapter yourself I will take the liberty of editing it in case there are any grammar errors, so you needn't worry about perfection if you don't want to.

Also, in the event that you would rather just have the original prize of a guest appearance and don't care about specifics, then I will do the chapter as I will. Does that sound good?

Also, I may have more such contests in the future, so everyone keep your eyes peeled!

And since I have a few unused prompts, I think I will start putting a list of these untapped drabbles at the end of each chapter.

**Surplus Prompt Count:**

**Fluffy **- At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing):1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Beach** - (_Laughs evilly_)As sure as the fact that this story is perverted. - Potential use rating: 5/5 - Evaluation: **Coming to a theater near you!**

**Cactus Juice** - Hmm... Endless possibilities... - Potential use rating: 3/5 - Evaluation: **Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation - **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

Until next time, this is EvilFuzzy9 saying, "_Vive le Sokka!_"

TTFN!


	13. Euphemisms

Sorry for taking so long to update, but between visiting my grandmother and playing my new X-box 360 it has been hard to focus on the story.

And now, for pureangel86's prize.

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**Euphemisms**

* * *

Sokka gulped. "Um, Toph? Would you care to repeat that?"

"I said, 'What is a penis?'" Toph repeated in annoyance. "Is it so hard to answer a simple question?"

Sokka looked down nervously, not that Toph would notice. They were atop Appa, en route to the Western Air Temple, so Toph was truly blind for the time being. Thus, he was reluctant to answer, because he did not know any technical terms to describe it, as his father had taught him about the birds and the bees the old fashioned way, by having him watch two animals in heat. But Sokka didn't that luxury with Toph.

He only knew of one certain way to teach Toph, and he was loth to use it until all other options were exhausted. And he didn't have many options as it was.

So, Sokka decided to see how much Toph knew, and than try to elaborate from there. "Well, how much do you already know?"

"I know that guys like to stick it into stuff, and that it's somehow more fun to let a girl play with it than to play with yourself," Toph said.

"Okay, that'll save us some time. You see, it's an appendage sort of between the legs that only guys have," Sokka explained tentatively.

"Huh? You mean _that_ thing?" Toph asked, grabbing onto Sokka's little warrior.

Sokka shuddered as he his pants started to slip off, as if to accommodate for the sudden expansion of the Water Tribe boy's most prized real estate.

"Hey Sokka," Toph said as she grabbed onto the greater of his two swords directly and started to move her hand up and down, "Is it true what they say? That it's more fun when a girl plays with it for you?"

Sokka struggled to address Toph, as he felt the molten fires within his loins mounting to critical mass, to warn her against further action lest the consequences prove too be devastating.

"St-sto-!" managed to get out before he felt himself relax. It was too late.

'_She's going to kill me when I come to..._' Sokka thought before passing out from exhaustion.

* * *

Easily, my favorite thing about making this chapter was thinking of creative euphemisms for Sokka's penis.

And on a related note, "Yeah! I've still got it!"

* * *

**Surplus Prompt Count:**

**Fluffy **- At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing):1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Beach** - (_Laughs evilly_)As sure as the fact that this story is perverted. - Potential use rating: 5/5 - Evaluation: **Coming to a theater near you!**

**Cactus Juice** - Hmm... Endless possibilities... - Potential use rating: 3/5 - Evaluation: **Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation - **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

Until next time, this is EvilFuzzy9 saying, "_Vive la Sokka!_"

TTFN!


	14. Beach

… Well… This is awkward. I promised not to let time get away from me, but it happened anyways… Nonetheless, although I cannot yet make any promises to update regularly, I'll try to make up for my long absences.

Beach

Sokka was having mixed feelings about this trip. Part of him was glad for an excuse to wear his banana hammock, while another part was upset that he would have to restrain himself, and NOT flirt with any girls. But his loins acquiesced to the demands of his brain, for it was a natural consequence of having a girlfriend in monogamous society.

He just hoped that Toph wouldn't be there. She was still bitter that Suki had survived the final battle against the Fire Nation.

And of course, Ty lee and the other Kyoshi warriors would most certainly be there. And Ty lee hadn't yet grasped the fact that it wasn't okay to flirt with Suki's girlfriend, i.e. Sokka.

Then there were the other couples. Aang and Katara would be love-dovey, Zuko would probably run into ANOTHER old girlfriend, which would piss Mai off and probably result in everybody choosing sides and joining the fight.

Finally, there was the very distinct possibility that Zuko would invite his little sister, even despite what had happened the last time Azula had seen Sokka.

'Yes,' Sokka thought, 'This beach party will be a disaster.'

"We're here!" shouted the cart's driver.

"Well, here goes nothing," Sokka grumbled, before getting onto the beach.

"…" Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at Sokka; the men with envy, and the women with lust.

And suddenly, Sokka remembered why he loved the beach.

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**Surplus Prompt Count:**

**Fluffy **- At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing):1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Cactus Juice** - Hmm... Endless possibilities... - Potential use rating: 3/5 - Evaluation: **Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation - **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

**Writing** – I dunno… This one is iffy. – Potential use rating: 1/5 – Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Torn** – This one is doable, I just need to put my mind to it. – Potential use rating: 4/5 – Evaluation: **Maybe is a baby, and patience is a virtue.**

Until next time, this is EvilFuzzy9 saying, "_Vive la Sokka!_"

TTFN!


	15. Cactus Juice

**You know, I'd feel like a jerk for not updating, if not for the fact that life keeps getting in the way. But I've been getting into the fanfic groove again, so I figured that I might as well do some more work on my second best fic. **

**Treasure: **Whatever. Just update already!

**... Well, I guess I should start.**

* * *

Cactus Juice

"Sokka, we think you have a problem," Katara started.

"Problem? I don't have a problem!" Sokka retorted.

_CRACK!_ Toph hit Sokka with a rock. "Yes you do," she said, "You're addicted to cactus juice!"

"I'm not addicted!" Sokka snarled, "I can stop any time I want!"

"You know, that would be easier to believe if you weren't drinking some right this moment," Zuko drawled matter-of-factly.

Sokka looked down, and wouldn't you know it, he _was_ drinking cactus juice. "Okay... Maybe I do have a problem," he admitted reluctantly. When he looked back up, however, only Katara, Suki, and Toph were there. And they were naked.

"C'mon, big boy," Toph cooed, "I want your big sword to stretch me out."

Katara knelt down and undid Sokka's trousers, "Ohh, it looks like someone needs a tongue bath," She licked her lips.

"Hee hee!" Suki turned around and bent over, wagging her hips in Sokka's face. "And guess what? You're getting anal tonight!"

* * *

Toph looked at Sokka worriedly. "I wonder what he's hallucinating?"

"I dunno," Katara replied, "And I really don't want to know, either."

"Yeah," agreed Zuko, whom Sokka was drunkenly trying to hump. "I say we just forget this ever happened."

"Agreed!"

* * *

**Treasure**: ... That was disgusting, ugly!

**William**: And it was not even very well written, either.

**Fairy Kyuubi**: I love it! You know, I normally hate the authors guts, but I can't but appreciate this kind of work. He throws all pretense to the wind and tests the boundaries of what is acceptable – that is what he does best!

**Treasure**: ... You're just suckin' up to him 'cause he took yer spork. Stupid.

**Fairy Kyuubi**: Th-that's not the only reason! I genuinely enjoy this kind of work.

**Treasure**: Oh, I see. Perv.

**Fairy Kyuubi**: Don't judge me. (mutters) S_tupid bitch._

**Treasure**: That's it! Yer life is forfeit, ya damn fox!

(Sounds of fighting)

**Well, I think this turned out pretty well. I hope y'all enjoy it!**

**

* * *

  
**

**Surplus Prompt Count:**

**Fluffy **- At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing):1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation - **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

**Writing** – I dunno… This one is iffy. – Potential use rating: 1/5 – Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Torn** – This one is doable, I just need to put my mind to it. – Potential use rating: 4/5 – Evaluation: **Maybe is a baby, and patience is a virtue.**

**TTFN!**


	16. Name

**Well whaddya know, another Snoozles drabble! ... Though it's not a surplus prompt this time. Oh well.**

* * *

Name

* * *

_Sokka had a question, and he wanted it answered. _

_Toph decided to help him because there was nothing better to do._

_Together, they would pester Zuko until he gave them an answer._

* * *

Zuko ducked behind his throne. He slowly looked around one side of it to find out if they were still there.

"Zuko!"

Damnit, they had spotted him. Zuko sighed and resigned himself to the relentless interrogation he was about to receive. Sokka tackled him to the ground, and before he knew it, he was tightly bound on the floor, at Sokka and Toph's collective mercy.

"Okay, Zuko," Sokka said calmly, "Tell us what we want to know, and we'll let you go. It's as easy as that."

"Never!" Zuko snarled, "I don't care what you say or what you do, I'll never give you any answers!"

Toph grinned sadistically, "Then I guess we'll just have to torture it out of you." She licked her finger suggestively.

Zuko's eyes bugged out of his head. "You- you'll never get away with this! The elite royal guards will get you!" He exclaimed.

"Oh, they will, will they?" Sokka grinned darkly as thunder crashed in the background.

* * *

_In the guard quarters._

"Hey, Lee, got any fours?"

"Nope. Go fish."

"Dangit."

* * *

_Back in the throne room._

"Shit," Zuko cursed.

"Hey, Sokka, maybe Zuko'll break if you tell him about the time you had a foursome with Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai," Toph suggested.

Zuko paled at the thought, but then he swallowed his fear and steeled himself for whatever happened next.

"Nah," Sokka said, "That's not nearly scary enough. How about the time I accidentally ejaculated onto your face?"

Zuko gagged. His resolve was weakening...

"No, I already know just what to do," Toph then licked her finger a second time, and plunged it right into...

... Zuko's bad eye.

"Ouch!" Zuko shouted. That hurt like a bitch!

"Oops, my bad. Maybe you should do it, Sokka?"

"My thoughts exactly, Toph," And with that, Sokka gave Zuko the wet willy of a lifetime.

"Eeeyaaah! Okay, okay! Uncle! Uncle! I give! I'll tell you whatever you want, just make it stop!" Zuko cried.

"Perfect," Sokka sneered, "Now tell me... Why is Lee such a popular name in the Fire Nation?" He asked.

That floored Zuko. "That's all you wanted to know? Jeez! You could have asked anyone that!" He complained.

"Maybe," Toph sang, "But who else would we torture but you?"

"Whatever," Zuko muttered, "And the answer to your question is: Lee is an easy name to spell."

"Th-that's it?" Sokka said, astonished.

"Yep, that's all there is to it."

"Well that was a waste time," Sokka groaned.

"Yep."

Sokka turned to Toph. "Well, _that_ was a let down. Wanna make out?"

"I was wondering when you'd say that. Let's do it!"

And without a second glance towards Zuko, Toph jumped on top of Sokka and undid his trousers.

* * *

**Surplus Prompt Count:**

**Fluffy **- At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing):1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation - **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

**Writing** – I dunno… This one is iffy. – Potential use rating: 1/5 – Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Torn** – This one is doable, I just need to put my mind to it. – Potential use rating: 4/5 – Evaluation: **Maybe is a baby, and patience is a virtue.**

**TTFN!**


	17. Torn

**Cripes... It's been forever since I've updated this gem. Though to be fair, I've been busy working on some original fiction, and if it ever gets published, I'll be a real novelist (though I've been having a bit o' writer's block, and have thus been working on fanfics). **

**Nonetheless, let us see what I can do!**

**(As a side note, I would like to know if this chapter shows any improvement in style over previous chapters, so that I can either continue/learn to provide higher-quality entertainment to those who will accept it.)**

* * *

Torn

* * *

It was a dark and gloomy night... in the South Pole. Our heroes, however, were not in the South Pole. They were on the sunny Island of Kyoshi, visiting two of Sokka's "girlfriends".

"Get off of my Sokka!" shouted a certain blind earthbender who was practically snarling with righteous fury.

In retrospect, they _really_ should have left Toph back in Ba Sing Se.

Ty Lee, dressed completely in the traditional battle-garb of the amazonian Kyoshi Warriors, stuck her tongue out at Toph childishly. "I don't feel like it," she said with the equally rudely childish gesture of pulling her left lower eyelid.

"Get yer filthy mitts off of him, you fire-floozy!" Toph reiterated angrily, with a glare leveled in the direction of the flirtatious contortionist, who, for her part, wasn't actually using her _hands_ to feel up the Water Tribe Casanova.

"Never!" stubbornly declared Ty Lee, abandoning all pretenses of playfulness.

"Agreed," said Suki with a predatory grin. "The warriors of Kyoshi saw him first, so he's ours."

"That's bull!" Toph shouted, "He's mine, even if I have to fight you for him!" And with that declaration, she took a fighting stance and struck the ground with her right foot forward, causing it to shake and crack in a most impressive manner.

Ty Lee was unfazed , and she proceeded to cartwheel towards Toph, only to narrowly avoid being crushed between two large boulders rising up from the ground before Toph. Temporarily thwarted, she fell back to a safer position behind the other Kyoshi warriors, from where she could taunt the earthbender with relative impunity.

Suki rolled her eyes at Ty Lee's behavior. That girl would not have been worth all the trouble she caused, were it not for her incredibly useful ability to universally incapacitate benders and warriors alike...

Returning her focus to the matter at hand, Suki leaped up so Toph could not see her, and utilizing her precious few seconds of air-time, gave the sign for a forward feint to cover their flanks while she and a few select friends prepared to attack the blind interloper from above.

Just as they had been taught, the warriors gave no outward sign of affirmation, keeping their muscles just relaxed enough that they could deceive the enemy while still being able to leap into action at a moment's notice. It was a _very_ fine line to tread, but the Kyoshi warriors were not soldiers: mere peasants of all shapes and sizes conscripted to serve only in times of war. No, as their name would suggest, they were a specialized warrior-caste: women of only the highest breeding and strictest training, who were taught to treat anything alien as dangerous and malicious until and unless unequivocally proven otherwise.

The three foremost warriors broke into a full-on sprint in Toph's direction, hoping to either draw her attention or catch her off guard. The latter hope was quickly shattered by the same stone pillar that shot up from the ground and shattered the jaw of the middle skirmisher. The other two managed to avoid their comrade's fate by running further out to their respective sides - left and right - managing to narrowly dodge two more pillars.

Toph, not one to be so easily outsmarted in combat, soon had her revenge on the other two sprinters, using her earthbending to flip the patch of ground they were running on so that it was more or less perpendicular to the earth, throwing the two girls flat on their perfectly toned asses. "Come on, come on!" she shouted eagerly, "Is that all you've got? Throw some more meat my way!" she taunted them, imitating the unreasoning battle-lust of the average Earth Rumble contestant. "Come on, come on, come on!"

While such words coming from such a relatively small and unassuming creature as Toph could appear to be would unnerve most men, the Kyoshi warriors were not like most people, and they were _certainly_ not men. So, with unaffected resolve, a second wave with twice the numbers and thrice the determination of the former, charged forth using their reinforce war-fans to protect themselves from Toph's ranged ground attacks with surprising efficiency. Whether it was due to these defensive tactics or to some imperceptible weariness on Toph's part, this second wave managed to reach the berserk girl while losing only a third of their forces.

Now that they were in close quarters, the Kyoshi warriors held a significant apparent advantage over Toph due to both their size advantage and extensive training in close quarters combat, so you can imagine their surprise when Toph quickly and efficiently demolished them (primarily through the liberal application of a melee technique so cruel in execution that I cannot in good conscience bring myself to name it here). If anyone had any doubts about Toph's grim determination, they would have been erased by the sight of the blind heiress forgoing bending altogether in order to thrash some of the world's most proficient melee fighters in hand-to-hand combat.

It was clear to everyone that this battle was going to be long and hard, much like Sokka was from watching what amounted to an excessively violent catfight over him.

* * *

Toph, Suki, and Ty Lee were the only ones still standing. However, while Ty Lee and Suki were only moderately roughed up, Toph was on her last legs; even this indomitable earthbending prodigy could not fight indefinitely.

Suki lunged forth and made a feint, making as though she was going for Toph's legs. Toph, exhausted as she was, did not realize this. The boisterous young girl prepared to defend herself against Suki, only to be caught off guard by Ty Lee.

"You!" Toph gasped with a hint of panic when she felt the first light punch connect. Ty Lee was too close for Toph to repel with a boulder, but all would be for naught if Toph hesitated. Seeing no other way, the blind earthbender struck the ground with her fist, causing a flurry of small, sharp rocks to erupt in all directions.

Ty Lee and Suki leaped back, but they were too late. Toph's insane gambit had worked: their clothes were badly torn, leaving very little to the imagination.

Suki blushed beneath her makeup and halfheartedly attempted to hide her shame. Ty Lee, on the other hand, was happy to show off the revealed portions her body to Sokka, which got her a very noticeable rise out of the Water Tribe warrior.

Toph, of course, had taken the brunt of her own attack, leaving her garments shredded beyond any hopes of repair. She had anticipated this, and she swaggered over to Sokka with a shit-eating grin on her face. "Like what you see?"

Sokka could only nod once, before ravishing all three of the girls.

* * *

Meanwhile in the South Pole, Hakoda sitting in his igloo inexplicably felt pride in his son well up within his chest. "Attaboy, Sokka," he said, unsure of why he was congratulating his son.

* * *

**Surplus Prompt Count**

**Fluffy** - At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing): 1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 3/5 - Evaluation - **Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.**

**Writing** – I dunno… This one is iffy. – Potential use rating: 1/5 – Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Viscous **- Ah, the potential for perversion is virtually palpable. - Potential use rating: 4/5 - Evaluation: **Maybe is a baby, and patience is a virtue.**

**Calculus **- Heh, I like a good challenge. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation: **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

**Surprise **- Hello, Azula. :3 - Potential use rating: 5/5 - Evaluation: **Coming to a theater near you!**

**Banana **- Erk! Too... many... fellatio jokes... It's almost too easy! - Potential use rating: 5/5 - Evaluation: **Coming to a theater near you!**

**

* * *

**

**P.S.: If you feel like supporting a poor artist or getting good deals on some games, I am selling some of my old GBA and PSP games on eBay. My handle there is EvilFuzzy912.**

**TTFN, _Vive le Sokka_, and R&R!  
**


	18. Surprise

**Here's another chapter for **_**Snoozles**_**. Enjoy!**

* * *

Surprise

* * *

It was as dark as ever. The only light came from the torches on the walls.

This was fine with Azula. She had grown to prefer the darkness of her cell. Solitary confinement had given her plenty of time to think, and her favorite thing to think about was a certain dark-skinned individual from the Southern Water Tribe.

A shiver ran down Azula's spine as she finished "thinking" about the object of her obsession. There was very little to do in the dungeons under the palatial estate, so Azula spent most of her time fantasizing about _that person_. It was the only solace that her deranged mind could afford: perverse fantasies about a man she barely knew - a person who had been her enemy.

Footsteps echoed from a distance. Someone was coming.

Lethargically, Azula sat up, not bothering to close her gown or clean up her mess.

The footsteps seemed to grow louder. Whoever was coming was getting close.

"... 'ooz dere?" Azula slurred curiously. Her voice was hoarse from disuse, and her tongue had all but forgotten how to form words.

"... A visitor," the guard reluctantly replied. A few months ago, he would have killed to see Princess Azula in this position. Now, he would kill just to rid his mind of the images... Nobody had ever really realized just how sick the princess was until after she had had her breakdown.

"Bvizzzzzdah? Pfoh meh? 'oozit?" Azula scooted forward. She tried to look behind the guard, but she couldn't see anyone there. "Wuzzit? 'Oozit? Weahzit?"

"Here," said a voice from behind.

"Sokka?" Azula gasped in amazement, the warrior's name being the only word still familiar to her lips. "Sokka? Sokkasokkasokkasokkasokka!" she cheered. "Meez 'ave prezzint pfoh jooo!" she lifted the hem of her gown and eagerly presented herself to her visitor. "Seee? Seeeseeeseeeseeeseee? Dz'pfoh jooo! Mah bahm. Pfakitt! Pfakitt rah! Pfakmeh! Pfakmeh rah! Meez wontchoo inniz meh! 'Kay?"

"Of course, you dirty little witch. You want me, don't you?"

"Ja! Jajajajajajajajajaja! Meez wontchoo! Pfakmeh! ! Fiah inniz meh! Pfakkit!"

"Very well then," chuckled Katara as she bent Azula over...

* * *

**Surplus Prompt Count**

**Fluffy** - At the back of my mind. - Potential use rating (probability of prompt being used at the time of the chapter's writing): 1/5 - Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Blind** - I need to dip into the metaphorical crack bucket for this one, but it's doable. - Potential use rating: 3/5 - Evaluation - **Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.**

**Writing** – I dunno… This one is iffy. – Potential use rating: 1/5 – Evaluation: **Don't get your hopes up.**

**Viscous** - Ah, the potential for perversion is virtually palpable. - Potential use rating: 4/5 - Evaluation: **Maybe is a baby, and patience is a virtue.**

**Calculus** - Heh, I like a good challenge. - Potential use rating: 2/5 - Evaluation: **You can wait for it... If you're an ent, that is.**

**Banana **- Erk! Too... many... fellatio jokes... It's almost too easy! - Potential use rating: 5/5 - Evaluation: **Coming to a theater near you!**

* * *

**Surprise butt-sex for Azula! **_**Lesbian**_** surprise butt-sex, even! ... Yeah, this one wasn't that funny, but as Brian Clevinger once said, sometimes the best jokes are the ones played on the readers.**

**By the way, if you're having trouble making heads or tails of Azula's dialogue in this chapter, here is a translation of her babbling.**

_**"... Who's there?"**_

_**"A visitor? For me? Who is it?" **_

_**"What is it? Who is it? Where is it?"**_

_**"I have a present for you!" **_

_**"See? Seeseeseeseesee? It's for you! My bum. Fuck it! Fuck it raw! Fuck me! Fuck me raw! I want you inside me! Okay?"**_

_**"Yes! ! I want you! Fuck me! ! Fire inside me! Fuck it!"**_

**... Yes, she is clearly deranged in this drabble. That's what happens when you have no one to talk to.**

**TTFN, **_**Vive le Sokka**_**, and R&R!**


End file.
